Monday, 17 October 2011

The Tell-Tale Signs of the Asiatic Spitting Cobras

Singapore is a fine city but it is literally a "fine" city.  If you litter or jay walk there is a fine. If you indulge your inner creative being and decided to defile a building with graffiti, there is a fine and a caning, or if you decided to partake in drugs, kiss your ass good-bye (punishable by death after your pay the fine). Chewing gum is banned; you can chew it, you just can't buy it, and of course, like all civilized countries, texting and driving will garner you a fine (however I don't think the citizens here know that because this country thrives on cell phones, texting and being connected every moment of the day).

There is one fine I have yet see be enforced which is the one that puts me off my fish ball soup for a week.  It is the one practice in Asia that I hear everywhere that makes my stomach drop.  It is the tell-tale sign of the Spitting Cobra.

"Tell your followers Mr. Irwin, what did you notice before the spitting cobra was about to strike you?"

"Crikey, I believe it was the HHHHHHHHAAAAACCCCKKKKK TOOOOOIE I heard before he attacked."

Everywhere we go, whether it is Chinatown, Little India, Arab Street or the Central Downtown District, I hear the Spitting Cobra about to strike.  I was so looking forward to not enduring loogie hocking as I have before in Hong Kong because it is also a fine.  Well, I say nay nay to that because more often than not, I hear this obnoxious sound at least five times a day.  It is even worse than the good ole-fashioned Canadian Farmer blow on the hockey ice. Nasty.

Dear Singapore Government, I beg you, enforce the anti-spitting law more stringently so this Canadian girl can go back to enjoying a steaming plate of pig organs.


  1. don't bring that awful habit back with you! no gum chewing uh oh

  2. You can chew gum but you MUST put it in the trash. You Can't buy it here but R2 went to Costco and bought the huge box of it. We don't even chew it -mostly use for flying but he just did he because he wanted to be rebellious. You would be in huge trouble Madam!

  3. guess lots of people have bad breath there

  4. The cobra hunter19 October 2011 at 14:00

    In my first trip to Singapore, I never so or heard of such a thing. If you stick to the CBD around other expats and other Harvard educated locals, chances are you wont see or hear this. Though moving closer to the locals reveals common local behaviors; I don't particularly enjoy communing with some natives in some shady places in Canada either, but culture is different anywhere. Some people in Asia would burp in your face to thank you for such a lovely meal...


  6. The great spitting cobra must have a Canadian prairie rattlesnake sptting cousin who can be found at any establishment (I say establishment lightly) where teenage boys hang out - perhaps known as the skatepark spitting serpent! Dreaded by all the fainthearted and feared by all! Your favorite skatepark dreading sista!

    1. Ah ha, so that means you won't be grossed out too much!