Can we melt the 24 K gold taps?

There was a time when staying on a beach for $25 was all that was within my budget.  Soccer, guitars and keeping a roof was priority one and if there was anything left over, a great seat sale, and God willing, I took a little R and R for myself to regenerate my frozen batteries. That was five years ago, my children are now in uni, and now I have a husband whose idea of roughing it is sharing a bathroom with me on the 50th floor of the Conrad Hilton Hotel. 

The billowing sail

I have always known R2 is "high maintenance" and yet he swears it is all about me. What I didn't know is that he harboured a secret fantasy about staying in the most luxurious hotel in the world; a hotel that provides a private butler, a fleet of Rolls Royces at your disposal and the infamous 24 karat gold faucets that grace the bathrooms. A hotel where they provide a place for you to land your helicopter when no other parking spots are available in the desert, and if you require complete privacy, at The Burj, you will be indulged. The hotel stands on an artificial beach, and was built to resemble a billowing sail. For us Canadians, we can be proud that the design and construction was managed by Canadian engineer Rick Gregory, from Vancouver. 

Due to a little side trip we decided to take several months ago, our flight happened to be landing in Dubai.  At the time, when we booked the trip, all we knew was the journey was going to be miserably long. That is when R2 got the brilliant idea to change the flight and extend our time by booking a room at The Burj Al Arab, the only self-proclaimed seven star hotel in the world.  You aren't allowed into this hotel without a reservation, and even with one, the security is tight, limiting photos to protect the extremely rich and famous that often use this hotel as home base. We fall into neither of those categories, but I do fall into the category of having a husband that enjoys making each and every anniversary we celebrate better than the last. This was our fourth, and his surprises always give me one year to wonder how he will top the next.  Last year we were separated by Singapore and Canada so I guess he was making up for lost time.

Our grand entrance

R2 told me that I couldn't walk into The Burj with my ratty, sweat-stained Singy clothes and the thought of shopping in tiny-sized Singapore sent shivers up my spine.  He also told me the Roots Canada backpack was out. "What?  That backpack is almost as worn as I am from being in so many places."  What had I got myself into agreeing to go this hotel? Luckily I did find a couple of muumuus that I thought would suffice and eventually I talked him into letting me carry the backpack when he saw how handy it was for the telephoto lenses for the camera to take the photos of this 8th Wonder of the World. You can take the girl outta Canada but I can't travel without my tacky grey and black Roots bag. He did suggest I purchase a Louis Vutton carry on until I told him, the bags start at $1,500.

We were met at the airport by our driver, with a bouquet of roses in hand to welcome us to Dubai and say "Happy Anniversary." We thought Singapore was an amazing city with outstanding architecture, but it pales in comparison to Dubai, and to make it all the more remarkable, this city was a desert only ten short years ago. There were pristine conditions everywhere we went, with flower, green grass and date palms making, what is a desert, seem like your are in the tropics. An even more pleasant surprise was cooler December weather, giving us a respite from the oppressive humidity of Singapore. The summer reaches temperatures of 50C so I am not sure I would be as impressed in July.

R2 being artsy

We arrived at the hotel which dominates the Dubai skyline. I am sure the chauffeur had to pick up our jaws and wipe the drool from our chins as we stepped into the lobby. R2 yelled as I pinched him to make sure he wasn't dreaming. I kept waiting for security to come and toss me out, spotting my fraudulence a mile away. This must be how Granny Clampett from the Beverly Hillbilly's felt when first laid eyes on the cee-ment pond in Beverly Hills. I grabbed Jethro and we rushed to the room for more visual stimulation.

To answer your burning questions, yes, this hotel was everything we expected, and more. From the grand entrance in our two story suite with the sweeping gold staircase, the gifts of His and Hers Hermes perfumes, the gratis bottle of French Merlot, the fresh tropical fruit and boxes of exotic chocolate dates, the butler that draws you a fragranced sea salt jacuzzi, the towels that are so heavy you can barely lift them, to the bed so luxurious you sink in a sea of softness. We toured the facility and saw private elevators to floors not meant for peasants like us, impressive lounges with crystal pianos and 30 ft nutcrackers. We checked out the aqua blue Arabian sea, dined amongst a few celebrities in town for a film festival and had our socks blown off at the most impressive gym and infinity pool we have ever laid eyes on.  If I wasn't so jet lagged from our red eye flight and long stop in Sri Lanka, I could have enjoyed playing with all the electronics in the room a little more, and might have got up the courage to summon our butler for a soothing massage. I could only open and close the drapes from the bed with the controller so many times before I knew I needed some Arabic coffee to jolt my caffeine fix into action. Strangely, I don't drink coffee, but I felt if I ever needed it, it was now. While I have nothing to base my opinion on, I imagine I drank one of the best Cappuccinos in the world.  

The Khalifa is outrageous

Our time in Dubai was short but we did manage to take in as many sites as possible. The Burj Khalifa Tower has recently opened and is the tallest building in the world in every category. It is so tall, you become dizzy trying to see the top.  I thought the Petronas Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur were impressive but they have nothing on the Burj Khalifa.

It is a well known fact that in Dubai, the stranger or more outrageous the idea, the more quickly it will be built, as if to show the rest of the world, "We don't care what you think, we will be the biggest, the best, the most amazing city on the planet." Their newest project to outshine anything in the world is the largest shopping called appropriately enough, The Mall of the World which is being built to beat Dubai's own record of largest mall in the world, call The Dubai Mall. They have run out of records to slash and burn so they are now turning on themselves.

What we found the most familiar about Dubai, was on the way to the airport, I spotted Tim Hortons out of the corner of my eye as the taxi zipped in and out of traffic.  A nice piece of Canada while so far from home. From my research, Timmie's is just as busy being flooded by the Canadian expats in Dubai, as any drive-thru in Canada with the exceptions of the high-performance cars instead of the trucks and 4X4s. 

We had our anniversary dinner at Al Mahara (Oyster) seafood restaurant surrounded by an over the top 990,000 litre fish aquarium that was bigger than most people's flats.I couldn't eat any fish with eels, Blacktip Reef Sharks and hammerheads staring at me with bulging eyes.  I didn't ask the price of the bill but I will bet R2s latest pay stub is a few less zeros.  We may have to dine on white rice at the hawker stations in Singapore for a month but I think it was worth the indulgence.

It was difficult to leave The Burj but like so many things in my life these days, it seems like a dream, with each country we visit, more exciting. The thing that kept my spirits was our next, but not last destination; The Burj was merely a stopover. One stop in a journey that doesn't involve servants, fois gras, men in white, billowing dishdashas or women dripping in Cartier and Tiffany diamonds. 

A bathroom to love

When my son came to Singpaore in April, I was so homesick as the days raced by and I knew he had to leave to get a job to cover university costs in BC.  I felt a physical pain in my stomach that all mothers feel when it is time for your kids to leave the nest. R2 to the rescue to make me smile. He came up with a brilliant idea, and gave me the ultimate gift of travel.

R2 knows I share a tight bond with my children so it was then he decided to buy me a flight to Canada for Christmas with a one week stopover in our favourite place before I hit the frozen tundra. I was able to leave The Burj because I knew I had a week in sunny, Mexico with his family  and then two weeks in Canada with my family.  The only catch is that I would have to carry on to Canada on my own due to his immigration issue with our Immigration friends.  Once again, a Christmas apart but one day, I know we will be together, with loved ones.

My family or friends  have no idea that I am coming for a brief visit, so by the time you read this, I will be flying  through the USA and being hassled at Customs, too give them a surprise Christmas to remember.  I haven't seen my daughter or my parents for over a year.  I plan to land in Regina, Saskatchewan with no winter jacket, mittens, pants or socks because I tossed them away when I moved to Singapore, but somehow I will make the drive in 4 feet of show and bone chilling temperatures.  I hope I remember how to live in Canada; I am scared out of my mind about the cold I keep reading about. 

With my kids once again

Somehow I doubt I will feel the cold when I see my kids but after the reunion happens, I will be raiding my dad's closet. If you happen upon  a curly haired woman with her tongue frozen to a pole, provide a little warm pee to unstick me.  If you see my face crack from the cold, provide the humidity I am used to in Asia.  If you see a frozen popsicle wearing a Chicago Blackhawks jacket, and man's winter boots, say hello  because Layna in Asia is home for a good time, but not a long time.