Thursday 12 January 2012

Take-Take a Tuk-Tuk

Bengaluru, or the more commonly known Bangalore, is a traffic nightmare. The lines on the roads are painted  decorations and every two lanes are filled with four plus vehicles. You will find a bike, scooter, bus and a tuk-tuk all squeezed into a space meant for two, with only a millimetre of space separating the distance. You are so close you can reach over and light the guy's cigarette next to you.

I wanted to think like a local so I got up my courage and approached a tuk-tuk driver to begin the haggling dance. Tuk-tuk's originated in India but most people associate them with Thailand.  This vehicle looks like a 3-wheeled motorcycle with a covered frame.  Some artistic drivers "pimp" them out so they are decorative but most of them are so rickety, it is hard to image they can hold as many people as the Indians manage to cram into them. You will see them driving along with people hanging out the sides, oblivious to the oncoming traffic.

Of course, I was ripped off because I have a tattoo across my forehead that says, "Stupid, White, Woman," in bold script. Even with 25 official languages spoken in India, the drivers can read this with rupee signs in their eyes.

After a lot of hand signals, bartering, eye rolling and showing of numbers on my phone I managed to be swindled slightly. I jumped in and held on for dear life. I am not sure what was more frightening, the ongoing traffic, the non-stop beeping of horns to warn other drivers we were advancing, or dodging the cows that wander the streets in a lax manner. I won't even talk about the construction, smog, potholes and pedestrians we navigated. Once you reach your destination, you pay the driver, jump out and kiss the ground knowing you survived what could have been your first and last time driving through cow manure.

If you think this is the end of the tuk-tuk adventure, think again; you still have to return.  Now they have you at their mercy. The drivers know you want to go home and the "double" rip-off begins. I approached a group of five drivers and showed them the business card for the hotel, only to be surrounded, with them trying to out haggle me in several languages. I am not proud to say, but I caved like a tin trailer in an Oklahoma twister. I was to the point I would have given them my first-born - sorry Rikki - to return in one piece.

I vowed I had my one-time experience with the tuk-tuk and now I could graduate to a taxi.  Easier said than done.  The taxis refuse to take me places because it is interrupting their naps on the side of the road, or you will  take a taxi to a location, but can't find one to bring you back.  I even went as far as to sign up for a taxi service online, booked the car, and he never showed.  So now, I have taken a tuk-tuk so often that they know me by name - Dumbass.

I had one driver run out of fuel so I perched while he pushed us to the petro station.  While we waited our turn, I began to play a game on my phone. Soon I had six heads poking into the tuk-tuk wanting to watch. I don't think iPhones are big with these mostly rural, uneducated drivers. They kept saying, "game, game," to me.  I quickly stopped that activity.  This same driver had no idea where my hotel was and constantly pulled over to ask anyone for directions.  When we got close, he swindled me and asked for more money to cover his gas. I wasn't about to jump out in the dark so Dumbass gave him extra.

Yesterday I had a driver haggle with me and started to haggle his price down. "Hey, aren't I suppose to do that?" I thought.  Turns out he wanted to take me to a store for a discounted rate. "Ah, thanks, but I think I will pass."

After all this brouhaha, I decided to seek the haven of my serene pool, located beside a slum; but that is India.  A diverse mixture of privilege, poverty, beauty and ugliness all rolled into one.  Luckily for me, I can still hear the incessant tooting of the tuk-tuk, six flights up. 

19 comments:

  1. Oh my Layna... what the what..... is the picture of the slum place right outside your window is this your neighbourhood......Great story it confirms that I dont want to experience any of that. Looking forward to reading more .Jaimie

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    1. Thanks for reading Jaimie. Yes, this slum is beside my hotel. I took the photo from my deck. It is shocking to be eating dinner and looking at these living conditions. As Canadians, we are very grateful for what we have. You almost become hardened to the fact because there is so much poverty in India that you almost don't notice it anymore once you have been here a short while.

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  2. Layan, just saw your comment on the Cross-culture page... thanks for sharing your impressions... Greetings from another traveler, currently posted in Brazil. Cheers from http://3rdculturechildren.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading Raquel. We expats have to stick together!!

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  3. This is great.. I think you have something here. There a book called no reservations about a women that talk about her travels... it was a good book I really enjoyed it. But this is fun... and fun sells I cant Wait for the next experiance....
    I dont now what to put when it say select profile...
    Peg

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  4. Good stuff Layna, sounds like lots of fun to me. I didn't know India had tuk tuks, I experienced them in Bangkok and had very similar experience.

    I've never seen traffic like Manila though, but have never been to India. Manila had the worst slums I've ever experienced too, but I suspect India and a few other places are worse.

    Still stuck in the snow here in Cowtown.

    cheers,
    Allan Tolley

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    1. I think the traffic in Ho Chi Minh city was worse. Hundred of thousands of scooters. Everyone wore little masks but I don't think it makes much difference. In India, it is the extreme poverty and lack of any kind of sanitation.

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  5. doesnt sound fun and many many creepers there your first born would never like to experience this rotten place

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  6. I think things would be easier if you just invested in a skateboard and zippeed around - Looookie

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    1. Then I would have to zip through cow manure! Squishy stuff. Thanks for your comment Mr. Lookie.

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  7. Layna of Asia, you should have talked to me before you left the hick province and I would have taught you how to haggle! You sound like my wife, I have learned to leave her at the hotel when its time to shop in Mexico as she believes were taking advantage and not paying enough...gaaaaawd! Sounds like your surviving and learning lots...keep teaching us the Asian ways! Allan Barilla

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  8. Thanks Layna ! So good to hear from you. You are an amazing writer - I almost feel like I am right there. Keep them coming. Joan S.

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    1. Thank you for your compliment Joan. I love to write about our adventures. With the 19 countries I have visited, I should have started earlier as we always seem to get into some sort of trouble. We never stay on the beaten path and that is where the fun comes in.

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  9. glad you enjoyed your tuk-tuk ride. we won't be riding one in sask. anytime soon due to much snow-which your dad is shoveling at present.

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  10. From the youtube archives:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?nomobile=1&v=cUWSVTE17cE

    :)

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  11. Did you request it to take you to the best exotics marigold hotel!?

    Looookie

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    Replies
    1. I may be old but a few more years until the Exotic marigold hotel!

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